I placed an order with Arbonne last night to get another package of chocolate shake mix and detox tea. Here's my game plan:
1. Continue with the shakes in the morning. I love how they fill me up, and how easy they are to make and drink first thing. I would have to eat a lot of eggs to get 20 grams of protein, and I get sick of eggs fast.
2. Continue with detox tea in the morning and evening for the next week or so. Drinking the tea helps me wake up a little in the morning, and gives me something to drink when I wind down at night. Plus, I noticed I lost more weight the weeks that I drank the detox tea twice a day than the weeks I didn't. I haven't stopped losing weight yet, so I think I still have more toxins to get rid of. If the tea is helping. I want to keep it up. It's pretty expensive for tea though, so I'm going to look for a milk thistle tea in a grocery store. It won't be as pure as the Arbonne version, but maybe it will still work. I can go back to the Arbonne version if it doesn't.
3. I am excited to be eating real food for lunch again. I have been missing it. I have already planned lentils and guacamole for next week with gluten-free, corn-free chips. I hope to keep my lunches detox friendly for as much as possible.
4. I also plan on keeping out the more toxic foods from dinner whenever possible and only adding in the things I really miss. This week I will be making a minestrone soup recipe I love. I will be leaving out the pasta, but I might add a little parmesan cheese. I never really like the pasta anyway. This detox has helped me realize all the stuff I don't need to eat to enjoy the meal.
4. I still have a bunch of fit chews and will continue to eat them with almonds as snacks. They really balance my blood sugar and the almonds keep me full. It's such an easy option when I'm running around with the kids.
I planto stick to the detox requirements 95% for the next couple weeks because I don't think my body is done cleaning out the toxins. After that I plan on continuing to limit gluten, and sugar especially. I'll have to wait and see if any of the other "no" foods cause a reaction when I reintroduce them.
I do hope to add dairy back into my diet. I've been trying to find a good substitute for Calcium. I know that I am at risk for osteoporosis because of family history, and the detox diet did not cover than nutrient enough. Coconut milk and almond milk are decent substitutes, but they are expensive Milk is still the most efficient option.
This diet also does not account for vitamin D. I can tell from my fertility charts that I need to start taking my vitamin D supplements again.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Day 24-- Cheater Cheater
I'm watching "Hungry for Change" as I write this. It's on Netflix and currently streaming free on fmtv.com. It's blowing my mind a little even though I have heard much of it before. One of the biggest messages is the addictive nature of our processed food, sugar being a major culprits.
Two days ago, I made a pumpkin pie because we were having friends over. I accidentally put in too much pumpkin and therefore it was not as sweet as usual. Because of this, my middle son left most of his on his plate. I hated to see this pie that I had made thrown out, so I took a small taste. Not only did it taste good, but I felt, for the first time in almost a month, a serious craving. Immediately, my mouth started salivating, and it was begging for more. I had another taste. The feeling intensified.
After three weeks of healthy eating however, my brain was not totally on board with this craving, so I was able to analyze what was going on and stop myself. I was cooking dinner for that night on the stove and pulled out a mushroom I had been sauteing and ate that. Because I had been cooking it with olive oil, onions and red peppers it was sweet. It stopped the craving. So crazy.
It struck me how eating sugar makes it hard for me to stay in control, but eating clean gives me that control back. I love being in control. I am totally a control freak, so it floors me how much control I was giving over to sugary foods and the companies that produce them.
I'm so grateful that this detox fit my lifestyle because I couldn't have made the switch by myself. The thought of redoing my whole diet on my own made me want to lay on the floor and cry. Just putting dinner on the table every night is a monumental challenge. Most nights I am this close to just being like, "Forget it! Find your own food!" This process has made it doable for me. The next step will be to expand it to my family.
Note to self: Chia seeds, aloe vera, parsley, and cilantro are good cleansing foods.
Two days ago, I made a pumpkin pie because we were having friends over. I accidentally put in too much pumpkin and therefore it was not as sweet as usual. Because of this, my middle son left most of his on his plate. I hated to see this pie that I had made thrown out, so I took a small taste. Not only did it taste good, but I felt, for the first time in almost a month, a serious craving. Immediately, my mouth started salivating, and it was begging for more. I had another taste. The feeling intensified.
After three weeks of healthy eating however, my brain was not totally on board with this craving, so I was able to analyze what was going on and stop myself. I was cooking dinner for that night on the stove and pulled out a mushroom I had been sauteing and ate that. Because I had been cooking it with olive oil, onions and red peppers it was sweet. It stopped the craving. So crazy.
It struck me how eating sugar makes it hard for me to stay in control, but eating clean gives me that control back. I love being in control. I am totally a control freak, so it floors me how much control I was giving over to sugary foods and the companies that produce them.
I'm so grateful that this detox fit my lifestyle because I couldn't have made the switch by myself. The thought of redoing my whole diet on my own made me want to lay on the floor and cry. Just putting dinner on the table every night is a monumental challenge. Most nights I am this close to just being like, "Forget it! Find your own food!" This process has made it doable for me. The next step will be to expand it to my family.
Note to self: Chia seeds, aloe vera, parsley, and cilantro are good cleansing foods.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Day 22-- The final stretch
I don't want this to be over.
Part of the reason is because I love the routine. I love not having to think about whether I'm eating the right thing or not. It has really reduced the stress in my life.
But even more so, I am really scared that I am only a month away from being right back where I started.
I guess the biggest fear is the weight. I lost another 3 pounds this week bringing my total to 7 pounds which is exactly where I want to be at this point. But I know any weight loss, especially one so small, is precarious. Is it water loss? When I stop doing the detox tea and two shakes a day, will it all come back?
Because I do plan on continuing most of the eating habits I have established these last 28 days, but it is not financially possible for me to continue every aspect. I hope to find a way to continue to drink a shake in the morning, because it is exactly what I want when I wake up-- something easy to digest and drink, and a little sweet. It fills me up and gives me enough energy to get me through the first few hours of my day when I can be most productive. It's double what I would pay on oatmeal and berries in the morning, but it keeps me full longer so I'm not tempted at 10 am to have coffee and a doughnut.
I am also afraid that I will give ground a little at a time. Part of what has made this detox so easy for me it that it isn't a forever thing. I have hope that I will be able to add all of these foods back into my diet in varying degrees so that on occasion, I can have that piece of chocolate cake. But it's so easy for every day to become an occasion.
I believe that the process of this detox, however, has helped form my mental process in these situations. Last night we had friends over and they brought beer. Normally I would have had a beer or two even if I was trying to cut back, because it feels special. And I want an excuse to drink the awesome beer they brought over. But because I have invested time and money into this process and experienced such valuable results, I stuck to the program. I didn't even have a sip. And the world did not end. It wasn't even that awkward. The night was still really fun, and I felt good about myself at the end of the night instead of guilty and overly tired because of the alcohol.
That is the main reason I am doing this blog. I need to read it. I need to go back and remind myself how I'm feeling now.
Part of the reason is because I love the routine. I love not having to think about whether I'm eating the right thing or not. It has really reduced the stress in my life.
But even more so, I am really scared that I am only a month away from being right back where I started.
I guess the biggest fear is the weight. I lost another 3 pounds this week bringing my total to 7 pounds which is exactly where I want to be at this point. But I know any weight loss, especially one so small, is precarious. Is it water loss? When I stop doing the detox tea and two shakes a day, will it all come back?
Because I do plan on continuing most of the eating habits I have established these last 28 days, but it is not financially possible for me to continue every aspect. I hope to find a way to continue to drink a shake in the morning, because it is exactly what I want when I wake up-- something easy to digest and drink, and a little sweet. It fills me up and gives me enough energy to get me through the first few hours of my day when I can be most productive. It's double what I would pay on oatmeal and berries in the morning, but it keeps me full longer so I'm not tempted at 10 am to have coffee and a doughnut.
I am also afraid that I will give ground a little at a time. Part of what has made this detox so easy for me it that it isn't a forever thing. I have hope that I will be able to add all of these foods back into my diet in varying degrees so that on occasion, I can have that piece of chocolate cake. But it's so easy for every day to become an occasion.
I believe that the process of this detox, however, has helped form my mental process in these situations. Last night we had friends over and they brought beer. Normally I would have had a beer or two even if I was trying to cut back, because it feels special. And I want an excuse to drink the awesome beer they brought over. But because I have invested time and money into this process and experienced such valuable results, I stuck to the program. I didn't even have a sip. And the world did not end. It wasn't even that awkward. The night was still really fun, and I felt good about myself at the end of the night instead of guilty and overly tired because of the alcohol.
That is the main reason I am doing this blog. I need to read it. I need to go back and remind myself how I'm feeling now.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Day 18-- Cheese where are art thou?
I miss cheese. I thought by now I would be dying for chocolate, cake, cookies. Or maybe a glass of wine, or a beer. And I'm missing those things a little when they appear right in front of me, but the only thing I have seriously considered cheating for is cheese.
Let me be clear, I am not really a big cheese eater normally. I am very picky. I like high quality, generally soft cheeses along with parmesan. And I never eat cheese plain or in large amounts (except for pizza), but I never noticed how many things I add a sprinkle to. I don't mind trading out pasta for spaghetti squash or quinoa, but I'm missing the parmesan on top. I love a good salad, but I usually have a little chevre mixed in.
And tonight I made one of my favorite dishes-- eggplant parmesan. I roasted instead of breaded the eggplant, which I like better sometimes anyways. I swapped out noodles for quinoa and spinach, and I made fresh tomato sauce. But there is no eggplant parmesan without cheese. So this week I bought a bag of dairy free, soy free cheese. I got the best stuff out there (i.e. most expensive).
Totally vile.
Now what in the world made me think I would like vegan cheese, when my culinary arch-nemesis is processed cheese? But I miss cheese SO MUCH. I've done all kinds of things on this detox I thought I would never do, and with spectacular results, so when vegan cheese was recommended, I went for it.
It was so bad, I'm almost offended. Here we are, eating super clean whole foods, and while parmesan cheese is apparently the enemy, a fake substitute is okay. I feel like a family member of mine was personally insulted. I almost put on some parmesan out of spite.
And then I laughed at myself.
But unless I see extensive proof that eating small amounts of low lactose, high quality cheese is going to kill me in the next five years it's going back in my diet in a week and a half. And really Arbonne is n't saying the eating cheese will kill you. It's just hard to digest and that needs to be taken into account when I consider what goes into my body.
It's hard though, because underneath it all, I am a teacher's pet. I want to get a hundred percent, and we are getting a lot of info of how hard various foods are on our gut. So I want a perfect score, and a perfect score to me means never eating any of these things again (which again isn't necessarily what Arbonne is implying). But permanently eliminating all of this forever will only make me resentful and prone to ditch the whole clean eating idea.
What makes more sense is over the next week and a half I am going to carefully reevaluate how I was eating and how I am eating now. I need to be mindful of what I am going to add back in to my diet, what needs to stay out except on rare occasions (and what rare means) and what I am DONE with.
Let me be clear, I am not really a big cheese eater normally. I am very picky. I like high quality, generally soft cheeses along with parmesan. And I never eat cheese plain or in large amounts (except for pizza), but I never noticed how many things I add a sprinkle to. I don't mind trading out pasta for spaghetti squash or quinoa, but I'm missing the parmesan on top. I love a good salad, but I usually have a little chevre mixed in.
And tonight I made one of my favorite dishes-- eggplant parmesan. I roasted instead of breaded the eggplant, which I like better sometimes anyways. I swapped out noodles for quinoa and spinach, and I made fresh tomato sauce. But there is no eggplant parmesan without cheese. So this week I bought a bag of dairy free, soy free cheese. I got the best stuff out there (i.e. most expensive).
Totally vile.
Now what in the world made me think I would like vegan cheese, when my culinary arch-nemesis is processed cheese? But I miss cheese SO MUCH. I've done all kinds of things on this detox I thought I would never do, and with spectacular results, so when vegan cheese was recommended, I went for it.
It was so bad, I'm almost offended. Here we are, eating super clean whole foods, and while parmesan cheese is apparently the enemy, a fake substitute is okay. I feel like a family member of mine was personally insulted. I almost put on some parmesan out of spite.
And then I laughed at myself.
But unless I see extensive proof that eating small amounts of low lactose, high quality cheese is going to kill me in the next five years it's going back in my diet in a week and a half. And really Arbonne is n't saying the eating cheese will kill you. It's just hard to digest and that needs to be taken into account when I consider what goes into my body.
It's hard though, because underneath it all, I am a teacher's pet. I want to get a hundred percent, and we are getting a lot of info of how hard various foods are on our gut. So I want a perfect score, and a perfect score to me means never eating any of these things again (which again isn't necessarily what Arbonne is implying). But permanently eliminating all of this forever will only make me resentful and prone to ditch the whole clean eating idea.
What makes more sense is over the next week and a half I am going to carefully reevaluate how I was eating and how I am eating now. I need to be mindful of what I am going to add back in to my diet, what needs to stay out except on rare occasions (and what rare means) and what I am DONE with.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Day 16--Cleanse Update
No effect on my bathroom routine whatsoever. It really is gentle and not necessarily meant to take you relationship with your water closet to a new level. Some people notice a difference, but some don't.
In answer to my question about waiting until week three, the Facebook admin explained that by week three the body has had a chance to get rid of some of.the major toxins nd now has the energy to do a deeper cleanse.
Learning all this has been really interesting. It seems that I was taking my liver and kidneys for granted. They were doing a pretty stellar job of filtering all the junk in my system, but it never occurred to me that they would need a break. In fact I didn't think about them at all. I just figured food goes in, waste comes out and as long as I feel generally ok, everything.is fine. It's been really neat to learn more about my body.
In answer to my question about waiting until week three, the Facebook admin explained that by week three the body has had a chance to get rid of some of.the major toxins nd now has the energy to do a deeper cleanse.
Learning all this has been really interesting. It seems that I was taking my liver and kidneys for granted. They were doing a pretty stellar job of filtering all the junk in my system, but it never occurred to me that they would need a break. In fact I didn't think about them at all. I just figured food goes in, waste comes out and as long as I feel generally ok, everything.is fine. It's been really neat to learn more about my body.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Day 15-- Hello Week Three
This should be a challenging week.
First, weightloss stats seem inconclusive. I lost less than half a pound this week, but my pants are fitting better. I recognize my body in the mirror again which is a relief. Still, I was hoping that by going all in with the detox I would see numbers on the scale I hadn't seen since pre-baby number one. Because this isn't gimmicky, it makes sense that progress is slower, but I still worry that if I alter my diet a little bit after the 28 days, I will just gain back what I lost.
On the flip side, I rest assured that my diet is is absolutely as healthy as I can make it at this time. No my meat is not grass fed, and not every single veggie I eat it organic, but most ARE organic, and I know I am getting the right nutrients and calories. For once I can rest assured that I am not throwing junking up this body God so loving created. I also don't feel like I am spending too much time obsessing about food and what I should be eating. There are too many other things I need my brain to be working on. Like how I'm going to get a shower in today.
The second challenge this week is I am starting the week three cleanse. It's a liquid concentrate I dilute in 32 oz of water and drink over 2-4 hours during the day. It's meant to clean out the "heavy metals" in my system. Still not totally clear on it and will have to ask a few more questions on the facebook group. It's supposed to be a "gentle cleanse" but I'll keep you posted. Maybe I will set up my first ever Twitter account to give you all real time bathroom play-by-plays. Aren't you glad I have NO idea how to set up a Twitter account?
Third, this week we will be travelling and staying over one night. Fortunately the shakes and fit chews will travel easily. I plan on bringing olive oil and lemon juice to pour over salads and just try to stick with chicken and veggies. It shouldn't be too bad. Honestly, my biggest concern is the cleanse aspect. I'm going to have to time it right so we aren't spending a lot of time stopping at gas stations on the way...
First, weightloss stats seem inconclusive. I lost less than half a pound this week, but my pants are fitting better. I recognize my body in the mirror again which is a relief. Still, I was hoping that by going all in with the detox I would see numbers on the scale I hadn't seen since pre-baby number one. Because this isn't gimmicky, it makes sense that progress is slower, but I still worry that if I alter my diet a little bit after the 28 days, I will just gain back what I lost.
On the flip side, I rest assured that my diet is is absolutely as healthy as I can make it at this time. No my meat is not grass fed, and not every single veggie I eat it organic, but most ARE organic, and I know I am getting the right nutrients and calories. For once I can rest assured that I am not throwing junking up this body God so loving created. I also don't feel like I am spending too much time obsessing about food and what I should be eating. There are too many other things I need my brain to be working on. Like how I'm going to get a shower in today.
The second challenge this week is I am starting the week three cleanse. It's a liquid concentrate I dilute in 32 oz of water and drink over 2-4 hours during the day. It's meant to clean out the "heavy metals" in my system. Still not totally clear on it and will have to ask a few more questions on the facebook group. It's supposed to be a "gentle cleanse" but I'll keep you posted. Maybe I will set up my first ever Twitter account to give you all real time bathroom play-by-plays. Aren't you glad I have NO idea how to set up a Twitter account?
Third, this week we will be travelling and staying over one night. Fortunately the shakes and fit chews will travel easily. I plan on bringing olive oil and lemon juice to pour over salads and just try to stick with chicken and veggies. It shouldn't be too bad. Honestly, my biggest concern is the cleanse aspect. I'm going to have to time it right so we aren't spending a lot of time stopping at gas stations on the way...
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Day 10-- Hunger
One sign that my diet needed to change was that I was never hungry. Not really. I ate when I felt like it was time to eat.
The main reason I did this was because I am in charge of 3 small boys. If I do not eat as much as I can when I can, I might not get another opportunity. Prior to starting this detox I was anxious about getting hungry, because for me hunger quickly started to affect my ability to do my job. It could be only 20 minutes between realizing I was hungry and being shaky, anxious, irritable, and unable to concentrate.
The other reason is that food is EVERYWHERE in our society. There are restaurants every quarter mile, constant food ads on tv, and our grocery stores are stuffed with thousands of things to choose from, each one begging to be bought. Every time I try to cut back on the junk I eat I am overwhelmed by how hard the food industry is trying to get me to buy it's products.
I know that most stuff that is advertised is not that good, and certainly not ruining my health over, but another part of me still wants it. Partly because the ads are selling more than just food-- they are selling a good time, relaxation, something different. The ads are trying to tell me that eating this food is what participating in life means. It is SOOOOO frustrating that some emotional part of me believes this message. I feel especially vulnerable because I am not free to pursue a lot of activities I would like to because of how busy I am with my kids. These food ads offer me a convenient solution to the feeling that I am missing out. By eating out I feel like I am proving my independence as an adult: I can drive myself there and pay for it myself without asking anyone else. Ironically, I have been manipulated into this thought process.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Day 9-- I Blame the Children
I didn't intend on posting everyday after week one, but I had to share :)
I have not actually cheated on this diet. My cravings have been minimal, but there have been two occasions when my duties as a mom compelled me to put something non-detox friendly in my mouth:
Exhibit A:
My four year old found a packet of Pez stuffed in the back of a cabinet and the boys insisted on having it for snack (I fed them almonds and veggies later to make up for it). When I opened the pack, I noticed that the last piece was broken, which of course would result in tears. If I eliminated the broken Pez, then there would be an uneven number of Pez, which would result in tears. And by tears I mean wailing and gnashing of teeth. My kids don't know what those words mean, but they sure DO them enough.
You see where this is going.
Quick as lightning, I popped the extra Pez into my mouth, crumpled the broken Pez into the wrapper and avoided total meltdown mode!
As I bit into the Pez I thought, "Blech this tastes weird." And then it dawned on me. "Really?? Pez?? I don't even like Pez!" That is not the candy that I'm like, "Oh yeah, can't resist some of that. No don't put that bowl of Pez candy in front of me! I'll eat the whole thing!"
I ran upstairs and spat it out in the sink. It's a little melodramatic, but I wasn't going to break the sugar fast for PEZ!!!! And it really did taste weird. Sorry Pez.
Exhibit B:
I was frantically throwing dinner on plates this evening because my husband was late, the baby has a cold and therefore screams every time I put him down and the two older boys were running around pretending to be minions (I thought Despicable Me 2 would give me a break. Not so much). In the frenzy, some Ranch dressing ended up on the four-year-old's hamburger bun. Guaranteed to ruin everyone's dinner experience.
Once again, I had no time to think, so I went with my gut and licked it off the bun. More spitting in the sink. Ranch dressing, even all natural, MSG-free ranch dressing is not great straight up (for those of you considering trying it in shot form). Your welcome.
I have not actually cheated on this diet. My cravings have been minimal, but there have been two occasions when my duties as a mom compelled me to put something non-detox friendly in my mouth:
Exhibit A:
My four year old found a packet of Pez stuffed in the back of a cabinet and the boys insisted on having it for snack (I fed them almonds and veggies later to make up for it). When I opened the pack, I noticed that the last piece was broken, which of course would result in tears. If I eliminated the broken Pez, then there would be an uneven number of Pez, which would result in tears. And by tears I mean wailing and gnashing of teeth. My kids don't know what those words mean, but they sure DO them enough.
You see where this is going.
Quick as lightning, I popped the extra Pez into my mouth, crumpled the broken Pez into the wrapper and avoided total meltdown mode!
As I bit into the Pez I thought, "Blech this tastes weird." And then it dawned on me. "Really?? Pez?? I don't even like Pez!" That is not the candy that I'm like, "Oh yeah, can't resist some of that. No don't put that bowl of Pez candy in front of me! I'll eat the whole thing!"
I ran upstairs and spat it out in the sink. It's a little melodramatic, but I wasn't going to break the sugar fast for PEZ!!!! And it really did taste weird. Sorry Pez.
Exhibit B:
I was frantically throwing dinner on plates this evening because my husband was late, the baby has a cold and therefore screams every time I put him down and the two older boys were running around pretending to be minions (I thought Despicable Me 2 would give me a break. Not so much). In the frenzy, some Ranch dressing ended up on the four-year-old's hamburger bun. Guaranteed to ruin everyone's dinner experience.
Once again, I had no time to think, so I went with my gut and licked it off the bun. More spitting in the sink. Ranch dressing, even all natural, MSG-free ranch dressing is not great straight up (for those of you considering trying it in shot form). Your welcome.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Day 8-- One Week Down
I've lost four pounds. I'm feeling pretty neutral about it. That's the direction I want the numbers to head, but it's still within the realm of water weight. It just feels good to know I'm making the right food decisions for my body. I don't know if these would be the right decisions for anyone else, but this routine fits me.
I don't miss breakfast and lunch. It's not like I was sitting down to eat before the detox. I've also really been enjoying making things from scratch. I'm a good cook, but I didn't feel like I could justify the extra time in the kitchen (my kids watched TV while I prepped dinner this morning). When I take tomatoes out of my garden and use them to make salsa and sauce for the week, I participate in the reality of God's care. He gives me my daily bread-- just what I need for today, but also in abundance. Manna in the desert. But my tomatoes are MUCH better than manna.
I don't miss breakfast and lunch. It's not like I was sitting down to eat before the detox. I've also really been enjoying making things from scratch. I'm a good cook, but I didn't feel like I could justify the extra time in the kitchen (my kids watched TV while I prepped dinner this morning). When I take tomatoes out of my garden and use them to make salsa and sauce for the week, I participate in the reality of God's care. He gives me my daily bread-- just what I need for today, but also in abundance. Manna in the desert. But my tomatoes are MUCH better than manna.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Day 7-- Fruits of the Tree
Whenever I go to my husband with a dilemma I can't solve, he usually says, "Well, you know a tree by it's fruits, right?"
It's so simple. What is right doesn't always make everything magically better, it isn't always easy, and it doesn't always feel good, but what is right will always result in a good. Good trees produce good fruit; bad trees produce bad fruit. When I think of things in this light, the decision becomes much clearer.
Last night when I weighed myself, I had gained a pound. On any previous diet, I would have thrown my hands up and said, "Well this isn't working!" or "I am failing. I am doing something wrong." But in this detox I know those statements are false. I know have followed the rules (ok, so maybe I ate a little extra turkey meatballs and spaghetti squash last night). I know that this is "working." My energy and mood are night and day from before. Good fruit.
The change in energy was a change I hoped for, but I never expected to experience spiritual fruit. Today in Mass I was totally engaged. Even better, I found myself able to attend to my two oldest boys as well. I patiently answered my four-year-old's repeated, "When are we going home," and we avoided a total meltdown. My mind was also opened to all the benefits my oldest child was getting from Mass. Were were reading through the words together in his Magnificat, and following along with the music in the hymnal. He was asking me relevant questions about the Gospel. I was able to encourage him to reflect on his future First Communion, as I prepared to receive Christ's body. Great fruit.
I am so floored, but I guess I shouldn't be. I gave something over totally to my Heavenly Father, and He is nurturing me and showing me His love in ways I couldn't have imagined.
It's so simple. What is right doesn't always make everything magically better, it isn't always easy, and it doesn't always feel good, but what is right will always result in a good. Good trees produce good fruit; bad trees produce bad fruit. When I think of things in this light, the decision becomes much clearer.
Last night when I weighed myself, I had gained a pound. On any previous diet, I would have thrown my hands up and said, "Well this isn't working!" or "I am failing. I am doing something wrong." But in this detox I know those statements are false. I know have followed the rules (ok, so maybe I ate a little extra turkey meatballs and spaghetti squash last night). I know that this is "working." My energy and mood are night and day from before. Good fruit.
The change in energy was a change I hoped for, but I never expected to experience spiritual fruit. Today in Mass I was totally engaged. Even better, I found myself able to attend to my two oldest boys as well. I patiently answered my four-year-old's repeated, "When are we going home," and we avoided a total meltdown. My mind was also opened to all the benefits my oldest child was getting from Mass. Were were reading through the words together in his Magnificat, and following along with the music in the hymnal. He was asking me relevant questions about the Gospel. I was able to encourage him to reflect on his future First Communion, as I prepared to receive Christ's body. Great fruit.
I am so floored, but I guess I shouldn't be. I gave something over totally to my Heavenly Father, and He is nurturing me and showing me His love in ways I couldn't have imagined.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Day 6-- Temptation Island
A.k.a....a birthday party.
And there was pizza. And cake. And I was hungry. Really hungry. And I did not cheat.
I wanted to, believe me. My brain tried to tell me that one bite wouldn't hurt. But I knew differently. This isn't really about losing weight (although I am VERY excited about that prospect). This is about letting my system heal, and it can't do that if I am eating ANY junk. I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I like things to be cut and dry, right and wrong. Then I simply stay the course. And that is why I am able to stick to this even in the hardest moments.
And there was pizza. And cake. And I was hungry. Really hungry. And I did not cheat.
I wanted to, believe me. My brain tried to tell me that one bite wouldn't hurt. But I knew differently. This isn't really about losing weight (although I am VERY excited about that prospect). This is about letting my system heal, and it can't do that if I am eating ANY junk. I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I like things to be cut and dry, right and wrong. Then I simply stay the course. And that is why I am able to stick to this even in the hardest moments.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Probiotic Update
Let it be known that I have stopped gagging. It seemed a lot better yesterday on Day 4, and today on Day 5 I am sure that there has been an improvement. Something is changing. Yay!
Day 5-- Coming Clean
Late November, my sophomore year of college I found myself at the student health clinic overcome with nausea. I was sure I had some horrible strain of the flu. I had been up the whole night suffering, and unable to sleep. The experience was excruciating. Something was terribly wrong with me, and the whole world was asleep.
"It's anxiety from finals," declared the doctor. "It'll pass."
Finals? I tried to explain to him I didn't HAVE any finals. As an English major, I had papers and projects. As an over-achiever, I had them all finished. I was gearing up to spend finals week like I always did while my friends in engineering slaved away-- watching the Lord of the Rings plus nine hours of appendices.
He shrugged his shoulders, snapped shut his clipboard and opened the door. "It's anxiety," he said again, and left.
Anxiety over what? My freshman year of college had been one of the best years of my life despite a difficult breakup and a ton of life changes. I came into my own intellectually, socially, and emotionally. Little had changed since then.
Except that now I suffered from bouts of insomnia, and carried a weight that wouldn't go away. I eventually beat the insomnia, and the weight eased, but I had lost some of my resiliency and became more sensitive to sensory input. Nine years later the noise generated by my two oldest boys was often physically painful. Almost daily, it left me incapable of accessing the parts of my brain that knew how to think rationally.
The day I started this detox that weight lifted. I'm still losing my patience with my kids, but I am also rebounding from it, finding ways to solve the problem, or just sighing and letting it go. I couldn't do that before. I couldn't stop the stress reaction. I could feel the chemicals flooding my system and I couldn't stop them. I could rise above them and fight through it sometimes, but at the end I was drained and miserable.
In the last few days, I've caught myself laughing more than I have in years.
Let's revisit my sophomore year of college shall we? The food I was eating was terrible-- low nutrient, highly processed, covered in breading. The salad bar was anemic, and veggies in general were scarce. Pop was readily available, as was dessert. And when the food was totally inedible, we ordered Pokey Sticks (a pizza dough/breadstick hybrid) and dipped them in ranch dressing which was probably pure MSG. Clearly I was an idiot, but I was an idiot with limited options.
Oh yes, and I turned 21 my junior year of college and added alcohol to the mix.
Compare that with the the environment I had grown up with. Pop was a rarity, dessert was limited. Veggies were fresh, and salads were green. My dad couldn't handle MSG or sodium so our food was minimally processed. He was also an excellent cook, and made everything from scratch. My mom made simple meals, which often meant few ingredients. Baked chicken breast anyone?
And though I was type A as a kid, I was also a free spirit. I stressed about things, but I was able to see the end and not lose sleep over it. I took enormous joy in small things. That person was still inside of me peering out, but she only surfaced occasionally.
I'm hoping to see a lot more of her from now on.
"It's anxiety from finals," declared the doctor. "It'll pass."
Finals? I tried to explain to him I didn't HAVE any finals. As an English major, I had papers and projects. As an over-achiever, I had them all finished. I was gearing up to spend finals week like I always did while my friends in engineering slaved away-- watching the Lord of the Rings plus nine hours of appendices.
He shrugged his shoulders, snapped shut his clipboard and opened the door. "It's anxiety," he said again, and left.
Anxiety over what? My freshman year of college had been one of the best years of my life despite a difficult breakup and a ton of life changes. I came into my own intellectually, socially, and emotionally. Little had changed since then.
Except that now I suffered from bouts of insomnia, and carried a weight that wouldn't go away. I eventually beat the insomnia, and the weight eased, but I had lost some of my resiliency and became more sensitive to sensory input. Nine years later the noise generated by my two oldest boys was often physically painful. Almost daily, it left me incapable of accessing the parts of my brain that knew how to think rationally.
The day I started this detox that weight lifted. I'm still losing my patience with my kids, but I am also rebounding from it, finding ways to solve the problem, or just sighing and letting it go. I couldn't do that before. I couldn't stop the stress reaction. I could feel the chemicals flooding my system and I couldn't stop them. I could rise above them and fight through it sometimes, but at the end I was drained and miserable.
In the last few days, I've caught myself laughing more than I have in years.
Let's revisit my sophomore year of college shall we? The food I was eating was terrible-- low nutrient, highly processed, covered in breading. The salad bar was anemic, and veggies in general were scarce. Pop was readily available, as was dessert. And when the food was totally inedible, we ordered Pokey Sticks (a pizza dough/breadstick hybrid) and dipped them in ranch dressing which was probably pure MSG. Clearly I was an idiot, but I was an idiot with limited options.
Oh yes, and I turned 21 my junior year of college and added alcohol to the mix.
Compare that with the the environment I had grown up with. Pop was a rarity, dessert was limited. Veggies were fresh, and salads were green. My dad couldn't handle MSG or sodium so our food was minimally processed. He was also an excellent cook, and made everything from scratch. My mom made simple meals, which often meant few ingredients. Baked chicken breast anyone?
And though I was type A as a kid, I was also a free spirit. I stressed about things, but I was able to see the end and not lose sleep over it. I took enormous joy in small things. That person was still inside of me peering out, but she only surfaced occasionally.
I'm hoping to see a lot more of her from now on.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Day 4-- How Do I Get An "A?"
The best change to the vanilla shake so far-- adding chocolate.
What was I thinking ordering vanilla? I thought I might get sick of chocolate so I ordered one packet of each flavor. Did I think this detox would give me a new personality?
On that note, let's talk about poop. Consider yourself warned.
It's a point of much discussion when it comes to detox, and so I feel I need to mention it. I have been anxiously awaiting for my intestinal output to change. I need to know that something is happening with my body, something concrete.
I need a grade.
Forget sugar withdrawal, I have been suffering from grade withdrawal for almost 10 years. Side effects include queasiness, insomnia, feelings of self doubt, restlessness, manic bursts of activity, excessive crying, obsession with childrens' progress reports, and a compulsive need to list every minute detail of my day to my husband. I NEED AN A!!! GIVE ME AN A!!!! I have yet to kidnap a professor and force her to assign letter grades to my every activity, but I'm not dead yet.
This is part of the reason I have cheated and weighed myself everyday this week. I KNOW that weight tells so little of the story. I KNOW that it takes several days to see a trend. I KNEW that at some point that number would go up and I would feel discouraged as I did two nights ago. But in the absence of letters, I need numbers. So I step on that scale every night, and the flashing numbers feel like a wheel of fortune spinning around. Will I win? I NEVER win games of chance, but I can't help myself. The reassurance of seeing those numbers go down are worth the disappointment of occasionally seeing them go up.
Which brings me back to poop. It is a measure of the health of our body. Dr. Oz did a whole show on the healthiest shape, color, and consistency. Many people have recorded significant increase in bathroom time while on this detox. Nothing changed for me until today and I kept wondering: "Is my body detoxing or not?" Today things went faster, and I couldn't help feeling like I had gotten a positive comment on a paper I had written.
So in case you were wondering, now you know.
What was I thinking ordering vanilla? I thought I might get sick of chocolate so I ordered one packet of each flavor. Did I think this detox would give me a new personality?
On that note, let's talk about poop. Consider yourself warned.
It's a point of much discussion when it comes to detox, and so I feel I need to mention it. I have been anxiously awaiting for my intestinal output to change. I need to know that something is happening with my body, something concrete.
I need a grade.
Forget sugar withdrawal, I have been suffering from grade withdrawal for almost 10 years. Side effects include queasiness, insomnia, feelings of self doubt, restlessness, manic bursts of activity, excessive crying, obsession with childrens' progress reports, and a compulsive need to list every minute detail of my day to my husband. I NEED AN A!!! GIVE ME AN A!!!! I have yet to kidnap a professor and force her to assign letter grades to my every activity, but I'm not dead yet.
This is part of the reason I have cheated and weighed myself everyday this week. I KNOW that weight tells so little of the story. I KNOW that it takes several days to see a trend. I KNEW that at some point that number would go up and I would feel discouraged as I did two nights ago. But in the absence of letters, I need numbers. So I step on that scale every night, and the flashing numbers feel like a wheel of fortune spinning around. Will I win? I NEVER win games of chance, but I can't help myself. The reassurance of seeing those numbers go down are worth the disappointment of occasionally seeing them go up.
Which brings me back to poop. It is a measure of the health of our body. Dr. Oz did a whole show on the healthiest shape, color, and consistency. Many people have recorded significant increase in bathroom time while on this detox. Nothing changed for me until today and I kept wondering: "Is my body detoxing or not?" Today things went faster, and I couldn't help feeling like I had gotten a positive comment on a paper I had written.
So in case you were wondering, now you know.
Day 3--I'm Weird
Definitely in a rhythm now, which allows me more time to think about this choice.
Am I nuts?
Who drinks shakes for sustenance? What am I, a member of a future dystopia from one of those science fiction books I read too many of?
I feel fantastic. I am laughing more, I do not feel pushed to the brink of my sanity by my kids, and no matter what the day has been like, I have been greeting my husband with a smile.
But throughout the day, sometime I feel like I am free-falling through space, nothing to grab onto, and nowhere to land. I have flashes of panic: will I NEVER eat pizza again? No, wait pizza, I didn't mean it like that. Can't we still be friends? At least facebook friends? I need you in my life!
I'm not having cravings. In fact, I am enjoying the whole foods I'm eating a lot. I have been longing to eat like this for years. But I identify so closely with certain foods, that I feel like I am ending a relationship, losing a part of myself.
Oh, and I do really LOVE the taste of pizza.
I'm drooling a little bit.
I might write a poem about it.
Ode to pizza! Mi amor! Cara mia!
Ok, maybe I'm having some cravings.
Am I nuts?
Who drinks shakes for sustenance? What am I, a member of a future dystopia from one of those science fiction books I read too many of?
I feel fantastic. I am laughing more, I do not feel pushed to the brink of my sanity by my kids, and no matter what the day has been like, I have been greeting my husband with a smile.
But throughout the day, sometime I feel like I am free-falling through space, nothing to grab onto, and nowhere to land. I have flashes of panic: will I NEVER eat pizza again? No, wait pizza, I didn't mean it like that. Can't we still be friends? At least facebook friends? I need you in my life!
I'm not having cravings. In fact, I am enjoying the whole foods I'm eating a lot. I have been longing to eat like this for years. But I identify so closely with certain foods, that I feel like I am ending a relationship, losing a part of myself.
Oh, and I do really LOVE the taste of pizza.
I'm drooling a little bit.
I might write a poem about it.
Ode to pizza! Mi amor! Cara mia!
Ok, maybe I'm having some cravings.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Day 2
Ready to do this again!
7:00-- Probiotic. Only one ounce of water this time with a little lemon juice. Slightly better but still fighting a gag reflex. Oh well. At least I was ready with water and my tea to wash it down.
7:30-- Shake with LOTS of crushed ice. Helped with the texture a lot! I took it downstairs to drink while I played with the baby and preschooler. It's nice to not have to figure out what to do with them while I eat. I was hoping that the shakes would make meals simpler, since trying to feed everybody is really stressful.
9:30-- Just now hungry. Fit chew and almonds. Satisfied
12:00: Started drinking a little early because I was hungry and I've been drinking the shakes with ice more slowly. Made a shake to go to park with friends. I love how easy it is. Added pumpkin, spices, lemon juice and crushed ice. Best yet. Satisfied!
2:30-- Hungry. Fit chew and almonds. Great!
I have so much energy! The sluggishness is gone and I didn't need to nap yesterday or today. Looking back, I realize that, despite my hunger, my energy was WAY up yesterday from normal! I didn't feel irritable, and I haven't lost my temper with my kids in two days. Yay!!!!!
5:00- Ate early because I have religious ed. tonight. Turkey meatballs, spaghetti squash and spinach with homemade pesto. So good! Feeling full.
8:30-- Detox tea and a little more spaghetti squash. Wanted to eat now rather than at 10:30.
Not hungry at all. I cannot believe I am doing this. I feel like I have entered the twilight zone, and it's unsettling. I don't like when things change, but I know my brain just needs to adjust. I'm also getting antsy about the physical changes. I'm still feeling bloated, and I want this fat to go away. I know it's only been two days, but I am a VERY impatient person. I have to keep reminding myself about the change in energy. That has had a huge impact on my mood and my overall happiness throughout the day.
7:00-- Probiotic. Only one ounce of water this time with a little lemon juice. Slightly better but still fighting a gag reflex. Oh well. At least I was ready with water and my tea to wash it down.
7:30-- Shake with LOTS of crushed ice. Helped with the texture a lot! I took it downstairs to drink while I played with the baby and preschooler. It's nice to not have to figure out what to do with them while I eat. I was hoping that the shakes would make meals simpler, since trying to feed everybody is really stressful.
9:30-- Just now hungry. Fit chew and almonds. Satisfied
12:00: Started drinking a little early because I was hungry and I've been drinking the shakes with ice more slowly. Made a shake to go to park with friends. I love how easy it is. Added pumpkin, spices, lemon juice and crushed ice. Best yet. Satisfied!
2:30-- Hungry. Fit chew and almonds. Great!
I have so much energy! The sluggishness is gone and I didn't need to nap yesterday or today. Looking back, I realize that, despite my hunger, my energy was WAY up yesterday from normal! I didn't feel irritable, and I haven't lost my temper with my kids in two days. Yay!!!!!
5:00- Ate early because I have religious ed. tonight. Turkey meatballs, spaghetti squash and spinach with homemade pesto. So good! Feeling full.
8:30-- Detox tea and a little more spaghetti squash. Wanted to eat now rather than at 10:30.
Not hungry at all. I cannot believe I am doing this. I feel like I have entered the twilight zone, and it's unsettling. I don't like when things change, but I know my brain just needs to adjust. I'm also getting antsy about the physical changes. I'm still feeling bloated, and I want this fat to go away. I know it's only been two days, but I am a VERY impatient person. I have to keep reminding myself about the change in energy. That has had a huge impact on my mood and my overall happiness throughout the day.
Day 1
I am so excited to DO something. Usually diets involve NOT doing something, but I have a routine to establish:
7:00-- Detox tea with half a fizz stick. The detox tea is a little bitter and the fizz stick is overly sweet.
Probiotic. Yuck! It literally tastes like I am throwing up as I drink it! Bleh! Kinda like fermented cod liver oil. I posted on fb, and the admin said the worse it tastes the more I need it because my body is acidic. She says shoot it with only one ounce of water. I'm going to add lemon tomorrow.
7:30-- Shake with fiber boost. The shake smells good, like real vanilla, but is REALLY SWEET. It's a little like gritty buttercream frosting.
Got really hungry between meals.
9:30-- Fit chew and a handful of almonds.
12:30- REALLY HUNGRY Shake with lemon, frozen bluberries and fiber boost. A little less sweet and gritty but not great.
Super hungry in the afternoon. Never really felt satisfied after shake. What was really interesting though was my blood sugar seemed level. I didn't feel shakes, irritable, dizzy, or exhausted like I usually when I get hungry.
2:30-- Fit chew and two handfuls of almonds. Posted on fb page and admin said eat snacks until satisfied. I need to get some almond butter and apples.
5:30-- Dinner. Roasted chicken with garlic, lemon and EVOO. Raw carrots, brown rice and lettuce with EVOO, roasted garlic, salt and lemon juice. The carrots tasted so sweet! Delicious. Half the plate was veggies, quarter meat, quarter rice. I initially wanted another plateful, but that stopped after the food hit my system.
8:30-- Had detox tea with lemon at friends house and had an ounce of unsweetened apple cider. Only supposed to have green apples, but I think I am ok.
10:30-- Really hungry right before bed. Couldn't sleep so I had a fit chew and a handful of almonds. Much better. I'm not supposed to eat after 7, but I'm also not supposed to be so hungry.
7:00-- Detox tea with half a fizz stick. The detox tea is a little bitter and the fizz stick is overly sweet.
Probiotic. Yuck! It literally tastes like I am throwing up as I drink it! Bleh! Kinda like fermented cod liver oil. I posted on fb, and the admin said the worse it tastes the more I need it because my body is acidic. She says shoot it with only one ounce of water. I'm going to add lemon tomorrow.
7:30-- Shake with fiber boost. The shake smells good, like real vanilla, but is REALLY SWEET. It's a little like gritty buttercream frosting.
Got really hungry between meals.
9:30-- Fit chew and a handful of almonds.
12:30- REALLY HUNGRY Shake with lemon, frozen bluberries and fiber boost. A little less sweet and gritty but not great.
Super hungry in the afternoon. Never really felt satisfied after shake. What was really interesting though was my blood sugar seemed level. I didn't feel shakes, irritable, dizzy, or exhausted like I usually when I get hungry.
2:30-- Fit chew and two handfuls of almonds. Posted on fb page and admin said eat snacks until satisfied. I need to get some almond butter and apples.
5:30-- Dinner. Roasted chicken with garlic, lemon and EVOO. Raw carrots, brown rice and lettuce with EVOO, roasted garlic, salt and lemon juice. The carrots tasted so sweet! Delicious. Half the plate was veggies, quarter meat, quarter rice. I initially wanted another plateful, but that stopped after the food hit my system.
8:30-- Had detox tea with lemon at friends house and had an ounce of unsweetened apple cider. Only supposed to have green apples, but I think I am ok.
10:30-- Really hungry right before bed. Couldn't sleep so I had a fit chew and a handful of almonds. Much better. I'm not supposed to eat after 7, but I'm also not supposed to be so hungry.
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